Open Cat Letters - Sophie and Jack

This is the first post of a series of open letters that two of our secret guest bloggers are writing on behalf of  their cats. It all started with a post written by Jack's human, who inspired Sophie's human to write him back.  And, of course, I couldn't resist to send it to Jack, so he could write to Sophie.
Cat humans, lovers and admirers, enjoy fine writing and classy humor!

Sophie, photo by a secret admirer

Dear Jack,

My name is Sophie. I was the runt of a litter of five kittens found deposited in a large garbage bin.
Having spent some weeks living in veterinary surgery, Liz., the vet.'s assistant invited Pamela to see me.

I looked a fright - a tiny, scrawny creature with just a few sprigs of fur. In short, after being promised that I would be a demure and sweet-natured house cat, Pamela took me home. Little did she know what was in store for her! She almost had to mortgage the apartment to pay for the massive doses of antibiotics I needed, after which, I changed from being a pathetic, deserted street-cat to running the household with an iron fist.

I decide when my human should get up to serve me breakfast and, if she takes too long about it, I knock the receiver off the telephone...this does a better job than any alarm clock. But the conditions here are really quite good. The food is good and the harpsichord has provided me with a scratching post any other street cat could only have dreamed of! Enough about me.

I really enjoyed reading about you. You have quite a strong personality, so it seems, and you wind your (weak) parents round your little finger..sorry...paw. You certainly have had a few horrendous adventures.. you really should look after yourself. Re. the food problem, do you know how many humans have eating disorders? It doesn't bear thinking about. Just ask your parents how much they ate over the New Year holiday and you will find your small excesses of tuna small change in comparison! Re. your visits to the psychyatrist's clinic, Jack I would be careful if I were you. They ask you all about your childhood...er, kittenhood... and potty training and then charge you a fortune!

And as to where you sleep, just go to the most comfortable bed in the house...it's very simple. I assure you your snoring is nothing compared to that of a psychiatrist!!! Just be careful when he asks about your dreams. I am sending you two photos of myself. If you don't mind my saying this, I do think you are a very handsome cat. I know that Internet dating has its risks, but do you think we might just hit it off? Are you sure that is a current picture of you? Lots of purrs, Sophie.

Jack, ready to embrace the wor(l)d!

Dear Sophie,

It was a real delight to receive your letter, and to know that you have so much in common with me. You know, not everyday one meets - even by mail - a person ...eeerrr ...(sorry, I am so used to deal with humans, sometimes I get confused)...a cat that seems to be a soulmate. To begin with, neither of us behave like those "fancy cats", with a nose in the air, so full of themselves, as if they come from some higher or noble family. I mean, all those cats with pedigree, they are so snobbish...

But not you and I, 'cause we are both real and authentic street cats, proud of our mixed and not "exclusive" origins, who had the guts and personality to survive all sort of difficulties.
None of these "aristoCats" have ever felt such feelings. You and I, we won the battle against destiny by ourselves...errr...well..."with a little help of our friends" - I mean, the humans that we adopted to take care of us.

My male caretaker, though he is a psychiatrist, seems to be a nice guy - not too crazy as they usually are), and sometimes I listen to his talks with other humans (through the doors - we have this extremely sensitive hearing) and he does not seem to disturb his clients too much.

Ohh...I wish we lived closer...maybe we could meet personally - I mean "catonally" - some of these days. You know, I was ssooo impressed by your letter, that I even had a fantasy (humans do not believe that cats have fantasies, but we know we do...) that maybe we could even be together....You are also sooo good looking, ssoooo colorfull... Oh, but I forgot about a "little" detail...I am living with my human caretakers together with a very kind pussycat - Mimi - and I think that we are kind of engaged... I am not sure how it would sound if I were to hit on you. But what is important is that we can keep on talking - I mean - Meeoouuwing - and exchanging ideas about our lives.

Oooouuuuuhhhh (Cat's yawn) I think I am getting sleepy, so I will take a nap until tomorrow morning. Lots of friendly meeaws for you.
Yours, Jack